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​​Miscellaneous Rules & Regulations
​in the Quran





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Does the Quran say its okay to beat your wife?

9/15/2021

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​The beating wife issue is not a free hand to the husband over the wife to do whatever he wishes to, it only applies when the wife indulges in immoral conduct where if nothing is done then there is chance of marital relations getting worst. Its not the only measure but one of the measures to prevent the breakup of a family. Allah (swt) teaches us when this action becomes permissible:

(Al Quran 4:34) MEN SHALL take full care of women with the bounties which God has bestowed more abundantly on the former than on the latter, and with what they may spend out of their possessions. And the righteous women are the truly devout ones, who guard the intimacy which God has [ordained to be] guarded. And as for those women whose ill-will you have reason to fear, admonish them [first]; then leave them alone in bed; then beat them; and if thereupon they pay you heed, do not seek to harm them. Behold, God is indeed most high, great!
​

This act of beating only becomes permissible for a husband when his wife breaches certain marital limits despite all efforts of husband to provide her with whatever is necessary such as taking care of her clothes, food, shelter, her expenditures, kind treatment, intimacy relations etc. The Prophet ﷺ said "Treat women kindly, they are like captives in your hands; you do not owe anything else from them. In case they are guilty of open indecency, then do not share their beds and beat them lightly..”[1] 

If all is being done from the husband’s side and yet the wife displays indecency & immoral behavior and continues to do so, then in order to protect the family structure Allah (swt) advises us couple of things:

  1. Admonishing them and advising comes first before any other act of discipline. The first piece of action is advisory as that is the best to settle disputes between 2 individuals or parties.
  2. If the wife’s behavior continues to be the same then the next course of action should be to leave her alone and stop being intimate so that might make her think and eventually realize her errors.
  3. Only if the above 2 actions are not effective is when the husband is allowed to resort to the 3rd action which is to discipline by a light beating which as per Prophet should not cause pain nor be on a sensitive part such as face, in order to wake her up from slumber. This is similar to waking someone up from their drowsiness so they regain consciousness and act right.
  4. If after attempting all the above there is still no chance of wife cooperating then Allah (swt) does not command to beat further but in fact says ‘(Al Quran 4:35) And if you have reason to fear that a breach might occur between a [married] couple, appoint an arbiter from among his people and an arbiter from among her people.’ This last measure can be better understood under Islamic culture which is family oriented as opposed to Western culture which is more individualistic.

Muslims have been guided towards these actions as a blessing to assist us in keeping our family structure intact when its falling apart around the world.

References:
[1] Sunnah.com - Riyad as-Salihin 276 
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