(Al Quran 30:21) And of His Signs is that He has created mates for you from your own kind that you may find peace in them and He has set between you love and mercy. Surely there are Signs in this for those who reflect.

The purpose of marriage in Islam is beautiful, and to fulfill this purpose it involves rights that are due to each other. Allah ﷻ created pairs of men and women among humankind and engendered love and mercy between them. It is due to this reason why both are attracted towards each others characteristics, personality and appearance. Every process has its way of application and the way to facilitate the process of communion between both genders Allah ﷻ guided them towards the act of marriage so they may fulfill the purpose of their creation in a righteous manner. The act of marriage and its rules are there to facilitate this process move in a right direction as opposed to male and female genders fulfilling their attraction by means of extra marital acts of adultery and fornication.

Having understood this fact, Prophet Muhammad ﷺ being a messenger of Allah ﷻ on earth advised the Muslim couples of what was good for their marriage and what was apprehensive in order to strengthen their marriage and prevent any sort of harm to affect their relationships. He as part of his Prophetic mission gave several advises pertaining to marital rights between married couples including sexual rights.

A man’s wife complained about her husband to the Prophet ﷺ that he spends his time so much in to worshiping that he did not fulfill her rights to which he was called and given the following advice: Allah's Messenger ﷺ said, "O`Abdullah! Have I not been informed that you fast all the day and stand in prayer all night?" I said, "Yes, O Allah's Messenger ﷺ!" He said, "Do not do that! Observe the fast sometimes and also leave them (the fast) at other times; stand up for the prayer at night and also sleep at night. Your body has a right over you, your eyes have a right over you and your wife has a right over you." (Sahih Al-Bukhari) (Sources listed under references)

As per recorded traditions the Prophet ﷺ advised the husband that if wife asks for intercourse, he should not refuse. He even warned against rushing to fulfill one’s pleasure and forgetting that of one’s wife. He also disliked that the husband should immediately withdraw from his wife afterwards, as it is causes strain upon the wife.

In an Islamic marriage its the responsibility of the husband to provide the wife with taking care of all her needs such as clothes, food, shelter, her expenditures, providing allowance in addition to kind treatment, intimacy relations including needs of their children. The wife has not been burdened to provide these things for her children or for her own self. If the husband fulfills his role as a caretaker of the family then he also has the right to demand from his wife what is his due. It is in the light of these facts that one needs to understand the following authentic hadith: Abu Hurairah (r.a) reported the Prophet ﷺ as saying “When a man calls his wife to come to his bed and she refuses and does not come to him and he spends the night angry, the angels curse her till the morning.” (Sunan Abu Dawud) (Sources listed under references)

This refusal from the wife that the Prophet ﷺ is referring to is not is not due to a valid reason from her, its merely to bother or give difficult time to the husband. The Imams of the past have said that when sexual passion takes over a man then 2/3 rd of his Aql (intellect) disappears. A man’s rights not being given may disturb the entire family structure due to him being the most basic and solid foundation of this structure. To prevent this from happening the Prophet ﷺ indeed said the above words to Muslim wives.

What is the curse from an Angel?

Firstly this curse is not a dramatic curse as depicted in a hollywood or bollywood movie in which the cursed character becomes diseased or turns in to an evil person affecting every one. The curses of the angels is referring to withdrawal of Allah’s mercy from her and this is proven by another hadith which teaches that mercy descends over a loving couple: The Prophet ﷺ said “When a husband and wife look at each other with love, Allah looks at both with Mercy” (recorded in Imam Suyuti’s al-Jami al-Saghir) (Sources listed under references)

The angels on earth from Allah ﷻ invoke His mercy and forgiveness on the believers. When a married couple express love to each other the mercy of Allah ﷻ descends on them. If anyone of them is unjust towards each other then the angels do not invoke for mercy but rebuke such persons. A wife failing to fulfill the husband’s right over her is rebuked by the angels which causes a withdrawal of Allah’s mercy from her. However this mercy remains withdrawn as the above hadith stated “..till the morning.” It is is not a curse that would affect her for life as such, please note. But if the wife regrets her denial to the husband and goes back to him during the same night then the angels invoke mercy of Allah ﷻ on them both till morning.

References:
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Sayings and Teachings of Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه و سلم)
Love, Good Character, and Mercy Between Spouses - SeekersHub Answers
Sayings and Teachings of Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه و سلم)

 In Islam there are 2 kinds of killing:
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1. One that Muslims are forbidden to.
2. One that Muslims are encouraged to.

The forbidden one is the taking away of innocent lives which is harshly condemned by Allah ﷻ and if anyone does it then they will be punished in the hereafter had they not been punished in this life or repented before death: (Al Quran 5:32) "if anyone slays a human being unless it be [in punishment] for murder or for spreading corruption on earth - it shall be as though he had slain all mankind; whereas, if anyone saves a life, it shall be as though he had saved the lives of all mankind."

The one in which Muslims are encouraged to kill, and get killed, is when fighting against injustice and oppression, for the sake of truth and justice, and this is considered fighting in the way of Allah ﷻ. The characteristics of such persons are mentioned in the Quran:

‘(Al Quran 9:111–112) BEHOLD, God has bought of the believers their lives and their possessions, promising them paradise in return,[and so] they fight in God's cause, and slay, and are slain: a promise which in truth He has willed upon Himself in [the words of] the Torah, and the Gospel, and the Qur'an. And who could be more faithful to his covenant than God? Rejoice, then, in the bargain which you have made with Him: for this, this is the triumph supreme! [It is a triumph of] those who turn [to God] in repentance [whenever they have sinned], and who worship and praise [Him], and go on and on [seeking His goodly acceptance], and bow down [before Him] and prostrate themselves in adoration, and enjoin the doing of what is right and forbid the doing of what is wrong, and keep to the bounds set by God. And give you [O Prophet] the glad tiding [of God's promise] to all believers.

As per Quran and Hadith the characteristics of Muslims who kill and are killed in the way of Allah ﷻ are quite evident. They will definitely and without a doubt get many blessings in the hereafter. The example of such Muslims can be presently found Rohingya of Myanmar killed by extremist Buddhists, Muslims of Kashmir who are fighting the oppressing Indian Army for more than 70 years. Such example can be found in the innocent Palestinians who are fighting the Israeli oppressors or such as those of Afghanistan who are fighting the invaders.

What is the greatest desire of those martyred in the way of Allah ﷻ?

To the surprise of many the greatest desire of those who fight and are killed in the way of Allah ﷻ is actually not females but in fact something else and this is recorded as per authentic hadith:

".....that their souls (those who are killed in the way of Allah) are in green birds wandering in Paradise wherever they wish, returning to lamps hanging from the Throne. Your Lord looks at them and says: 'Do you want anything more that We may grant you more?' They say: 'Our Lord! What more could we have when we are in Paradise wandering wherever we want' Then He looks at them a second time and says: "Do you want anything more that We may grant you more?' When they realize that they will not be left alone with that, they say: 'Return our souls to our bodies, so that we may return to the world to be killed in Your cause another time.'"[1] - This status of the martyrs shared by Prophet Muhammad ﷺ makes it absolutely clear that the greatest desire for martyrs killed in the way of Allah ﷻ is not women but in fact to be returned to earth and once again be killed for Allah's sake. This is due to the immense spiritual blessing that they receive at the point of their deaths that no other experience, even that of the enormously beautiful females of paradise can surpass it!









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​What do the martyrs killed in Allah’s path get in paradise?

There are a list of benefits in the authentic narrations that a martyr killed in the way of Allah ﷻ gets and these are blessings which we are thankful to Allah ﷻ: Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: "There are six things with Allah for the martyr. He is forgiven with the first flow of blood (he suffers), he is shown his place in Paradise, he is protected from punishment in the grave, secured from the greatest terror, the crown of dignity is placed upon his head - and its gems are better than the world and what is in it - he is married to seventy two wives along Al-Huril-'Ayn of Paradise, and he may intercede for seventy of his close relatives."[2] - Certain things need to be noted about this hadith: First, its not only wives from among the beautiful maidens of paradise that martyrs will get but its also the forgiveness, the great honor in the sight of Allah ﷻ which makes them desire to live again and fight for Allah’s sake. Additionally his life in grave and hereafter becomes peaceful and also the martyr will get to intercede for his loved ones on the judgment day through the honor that he may have achieved. Only a foolish Muslim who while believing in the hereafter would deny such blessings.

The main thing to learn is that the figure "seventy one" or "seventy two" or "seventy three" in Arabic language is not to teach us an exact figure, it is to be noted that the term "seven" or "seventy" in Arabic also means "several" or "multifold". Therefore what is being taught is not a figure but a blessings multiplied in terms of whatever the martyr will get which includes women of paradise!

Why do martyrs or paradise dwellers get so many wives and hoor al ayn (maidens of paradise) such as Seventy or more than Seventy?

The term seventy two or seventy is not just a mere accident of words, in fact it informs the Muslim believers about a great and beautiful fact about the gender ratio in paradise. The following authentic recorded hadith sheds light on this for us: Allah's Messenger ﷺ  said, "The first group (of people) who will enter Paradise will be (glittering) like the moon when it is full…..Everyone of them will have two wives; the marrow of the bones of the wives' legs will be seen through the flesh out of excessive beauty..”[3] - If every male believer gets 2 wives in paradise in addition to the number of hoor al ayn (paradise maidens) which number up to seventy or more than seventy for honored ones such as martyrs, then this clearly indicates that women are more in paradise than males. As per many famous Imams of the majority Ahle Sunnah (Sunni) school of thought the above hadith informs us that majority dwellers of paradise are women and therefore they will be naturally given to the males in paradise as they being women also desire males.

The Hoor Al Ayn (Maidens of paradise) also desire the Muslims just like Muslims desire them

The ahadith that speak about martyrs or male believers getting "beautiful maidens" does not mean in any way that females of paradise, whether from those of earth or from among the residents of paradise, are given away without their consent. An authentic hadith of the Prophet ﷺ clearly states that these maidens are longing to be with the believers every day and pray to Allah ﷻ for that communion: Messenger of Allah ﷺ said "Indeed in Paradise there is a gathering for Al-Hur Al-'Ein wherein they raise their voices. The creatures have not heard the likes of them." [He said:] "They say: 'We are the eternal ones, we shall not die. We are the ones who live in joy and comfort, we have no needs. We are the pleased ones, we do not get angry. Tuba (good news) to the one who belongs to us and we to him.'"[4]  

Last but not least its quite obvious that a man who died for Allah’s sake will get women in paradise due to him being a male and naturally a male desires a female. If Allah ﷻ wishes to give such martyrs beautiful women and paradise maidens who also desire their male counterpart, in addition to other unimaginable blessings, then who are we to question or show reservations? We gladly accept it!

May Allah ﷻ guide the apologetic Muslims who deny in their ignorance the blessings of their Deen.

References:

[1] Jami Tirmidhi - Vol. 5, Book 44, Hadith 3011
[2] Sahih al-Bukhari 3245
[3] Jami at-Tirmidhi 1663
[4] Jami at-Tirmidhi Vol. 4, Book 12, Hadith 2564

When studying a hadith, it is best to refer to the details recorded about the same incident in other recorded ahadith. This is so to avoid confusions that may arise from apparent wording of that individual hadith and have a clearer understanding on the matter. 


The event of the Thursday also referred to as "hadith of the pen and paper", except that there was no paper in those days, is mentioned in several traditions. In order to understand this event properly we need to read all those traditions as well and then analyze several aspects of the situation. Usually it is only the following tradition or a similar one, that gets quoted individually and discussed and conclusions are drawn:

Narrated Ubaidullah bin Abdullah: Ibn 'Abbas said, "When the ailment of the Holy Prophet became worse, he said, 'Bring for me paper and I will write for you a statement after which you will not go astray.' But Umar said, 'The Holy Prophet is seriously ill, and we have got Allah's Book with us and that is sufficient for us.' But the companions of the Holy Prophet differed about this and there was a hue and cry. On that the Prophet said to them, 'Go away (and leave me alone). It is not right that you should quarrel in front of me." Ibn 'Abbas came out saying, "It was most unfortunate (a great disaster) that Allah's Apostle was prevented from writing that statement for them because of their disagreement and noise." (Sahih Bukhari Hadith 114 - Book of Knowledge - Sunnah.com) - A note from Sunnah.com advises: "It is apparent from this Hadith that Ibn 'Abbas had witnessed the event and came out saying this statement. The truth is not so, for Ibn 'Abbas used to say this statement on narrating the Hadith and he had not witnessed the event personally." See Fath Al-Bari (commentary on Bukhari) Vol. 1, p.220 footnote.[1]
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First thing to mention here is that the apparent words of Ibn Abbas (r.a) suggest to a reader that he himself witnessed this event, and Umar (r.a) deliberately and due to some hidden motive did not obey the Prophet ﷺ. However that is not the case when we notice that Ibn Abbas (r.a) is a narrator of the event and not the witness himself, as also noted in Fath Al Bari the best known commentary on Sahih Al Bukhari, by Imam Hajar Al Asqalani. Since Ibn Abbas (r.a) does not experience the situation first hand we should realize that there could be error in our understanding the situation like most of us do when reading how Umar (r.a) reacted.

Second thing to mention here is that the Prophet ﷺ lived for a couple of days after this incident, therefore if he had to issue a decree that he considered being missed, then he would’ve definitely have done it for he knows the promise of Allah ﷻ as given to him before: [Al Quran 5:67] "O Messenger! deliver what has been revealed to you from your Lord; and if you do it not, then you have not delivered His message, and Allah will protect you from the people; surely Allah will not guide the unbelieving people."

Third thing to note here is that even if we accept that Prophet ﷺ  was prevented from dictating something then did the argument happening stopped him from doing what he wished to? Obviously no. He indeed did dictate what he wanted to and it was 3 things as mentioned in another tradition below:

Narrated Ibn `Abbas: "Thursday! And how great that Thursday was! The ailment of Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) became worse (on Thursday) and he said, fetch me something so that I may write to you something after which you will never go astray." The people (present there) differed in this matter, and it was not right to differ before a prophet. Some said, "What is wrong with him ? (Do you think ) he is delirious (seriously ill)? Ask him (to understand his state)." So they went to the Prophet (ﷺ) and asked him again. The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Leave me, for my present state is better than what you call me for." Then he ordered them to do three things. He said, "Turn the pagans out of the 'Arabian Peninsula; respect and give gifts to the foreign delegations as you have seen me dealing with them." (Sa`id bin Jubair, the sub-narrator said that Ibn `Abbas kept quiet as rewards the third order, or he said, "I forgot it.") (Sahih al-Bukhari 4431) [2]

One very important thing to note is that the 1st tradition mentioned on top ends with the words from Ibn Abbas (r.a) that "It was most unfortunate (a great disaster) that Allah's Messenger was prevented from writing that statement for them because of their disagreement and noise"… which a reader’s mind concludes that Prophet ﷺ was prevented from writing what he wished to and the matter ended. However when see read the 2nd tradition Ibn Abbas (r.a) added words that "Then he ordered them to do three things. He said, "Turn the pagans out of the 'Arabian Peninsula; respect and give gifts to the foreign delegations as you have seen me dealing with them." Therefore jumping to conclusions can be costly.

Same rules should apply when judging the reaction of Hazrat Umar (r.a). It is a known fact that at the time when the Prophet ﷺ requested for a pen and something to write down some advice, those were his last days and due to sickness he was slipping into a state between consciousness and unconsciousness. Hazrat Umar (r.a) and the companions who objected to the Prophet’s request did not do so because they had a hidden agenda or they decided to disobey him as he was passing away. They did it so that there is no discrepancy left in what was going to be handed over looking at the Prophet’s health. Did they do what was wrong? Yes I believe so and every Muslim should say that they were wrong who objected. But did they intend to disrespect the Prophet ﷺ and had a hidden motive? Most definitely not, for those who gave everything away for Islam, for whose truthfulness Quran also bears witness, how could they do such a thing? In fact they proved their loyalty even after the Prophet ﷺ passed away.

Now the question would be what happened to the 3rd thing?

All the traditions narrated by Ibn Abbas (r.a) inform us that he forgot or he did not mention. By observing all the traditions of this event we notice that nowhere do we find what was the third thing. Since destiny did not reveal for us it is not good that we speculate as such would be harmful for us: (Al Quran 49:12) "O you who believe! avoid most of suspicion, for surely suspicion in some cases is a sin."

It has come down to us in the traditions that Laylat ul Qadr night was also hidden for us when the companions argued. The Prophet ﷺ was going to reveal the date of that night but Allah ﷻ prevented him from doing so and this was a blessing as it allows us to worship every night of the last 10 nights and not one night. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ came to educate the people regarding the Night of Al-Qadr (Decree), but two Muslims were arguing with each other. So, he said: “I came out to inform you about the Night of Al-Qadr, but so-and-so were quarreling, so its knowledge was taken away. Yet, perhaps that is for your own good....”[Al-Bukhari] This teaches us that there is divine wisdom in things hidden from our direct knowledge. 

Moreover Arabic words that Umar (r.a) used to describe Prophet’s deteriorating health has been translated in English differently in different traditions. A careful observation shows that all those translated words are not disrespecting, they just describe Prophet’s unconscious state. A couple of those traditions are mentioned below:

Umar said: "Verily Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) is deeply afflicted with pain." (Sahih Muslim - Book of Wills) Umar said, "The Prophet (ﷺ) is seriously ill." (Sahih Bukhari - Book of holding fast to the Quran and Sunnah) In another tradition The Companions said, "What is wrong with him? Do you think he is delirious? Ask him (to understand)." (Sahih Bukhari - Book of Jizyah). The word that describes the Prophet’s health in arabic word ahajara أَهَجَرَ, translated as "delirious", comes from the same root as hijrah. Hijrah as all Muslims know means to "migrate from one state to another". So it means that Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was being ushered from this world to the next and that what the companions thought. In fact the worst English translation I've read so far of the term ahajara is "lost his mind’.

This is my input about this event and behavior of Umar (r.a) can only be understood once we understand different aspects of this event.

A Note for the Shia Muslims

At this point it is also important to mention that this hadith is often quoted in Shia gatherings as a "proof" to judge Hazrat Umar's intention and indulge in unnecessary speculation that the third thing must have been designation of Ali ibn Abi Talib as the Prophet's successor. Implying that the Prophet's order was not implemented by his closest and most educated companions. As proven from our discussion that we do not have concrete evidence in regards to the third thing. If this is what some Shia Muslims chose to believe then the onus lies on them to prove this claim. If they cannot, then mere suspicion is a sin (Al Quran 49:12). Also what is very interesting to note is that Shias have been boldly claiming that the Prophet ﷺ designated Ali (a.s) as his successor at the event of Ghadir, when he referred to him as "mawla", more or less a month before Prophet's death. If Ali's successorship was already declared at Ghadir, where thousands were gathered, then why would he need to have it written down for a few persons on his death. Hence this claim contradicts the Shia's famous position regarding event of Ghadir.

I hope this writing helps and may Allah ﷻ guide us all.

References:

[1] https://sunnah.com/bukhari/3/56 
[2] https://sunnah.com/bukhari/64/453