The Hadith “Angels curse her till morning”

(Al Quran 30:21) And of His Signs is that He has created mates for you from your own kind that you may find peace in them and He has set between you love and mercy. Surely there are Signs in this for those who reflect.

The purpose of marriage in Islam is beautiful, and to fulfill this purpose it involves rights that are due to each other. Allah ﷻ created pairs of men and women among humankind and engendered love and mercy between them. It is due to this reason why both are attracted towards each others characteristics, personality and appearance. Every process has its way of application and the way to facilitate the process of communion between both genders Allah ﷻ guided them towards the act of marriage so they may fulfill the purpose of their creation in a righteous manner. The act of marriage and its rules are there to facilitate this process move in a right direction as opposed to male and female genders fulfilling their attraction by means of extra marital acts of adultery and fornication.

Having understood this fact, Prophet Muhammad ﷺ being a messenger of Allah ﷻ on earth advised the Muslim couples of what was good for their marriage and what was apprehensive in order to strengthen their marriage and prevent any sort of harm to affect their relationships. He as part of his Prophetic mission gave several advises pertaining to marital rights between married couples including sexual rights.

A man’s wife complained about her husband to the Prophet ﷺ that he spends his time so much in to worshiping that he did not fulfill her rights to which he was called and given the following advice: Allah's Messenger ﷺ said, "O`Abdullah! Have I not been informed that you fast all the day and stand in prayer all night?" I said, "Yes, O Allah's Messenger ﷺ!" He said, "Do not do that! Observe the fast sometimes and also leave them (the fast) at other times; stand up for the prayer at night and also sleep at night. Your body has a right over you, your eyes have a right over you and your wife has a right over you." (Sahih Al-Bukhari) (Sources listed under references)

As per recorded traditions the Prophet ﷺ advised the husband that if wife asks for intercourse, he should not refuse. He even warned against rushing to fulfill one’s pleasure and forgetting that of one’s wife. He also disliked that the husband should immediately withdraw from his wife afterwards, as it is causes strain upon the wife.

In an Islamic marriage its the responsibility of the husband to provide the wife with taking care of all her needs such as clothes, food, shelter, her expenditures, providing allowance in addition to kind treatment, intimacy relations including needs of their children. The wife has not been burdened to provide these things for her children or for her own self. If the husband fulfills his role as a caretaker of the family then he also has the right to demand from his wife what is his due. It is in the light of these facts that one needs to understand the following authentic hadith: Abu Hurairah (r.a) reported the Prophet ﷺ as saying “When a man calls his wife to come to his bed and she refuses and does not come to him and he spends the night angry, the angels curse her till the morning.” (Sunan Abu Dawud) (Sources listed under references)

This refusal from the wife that the Prophet ﷺ is referring to is not is not due to a valid reason from her, its merely to bother or give difficult time to the husband. The Imams of the past have said that when sexual passion takes over a man then 2/3 rd of his Aql (intellect) disappears. A man’s rights not being given may disturb the entire family structure due to him being the most basic and solid foundation of this structure. To prevent this from happening the Prophet ﷺ indeed said the above words to Muslim wives.

What is the curse from an Angel?

Firstly this curse is not a dramatic curse as depicted in a hollywood or bollywood movie in which the cursed character becomes diseased or turns in to an evil person affecting every one. The curses of the angels is referring to withdrawal of Allah’s mercy from her and this is proven by another hadith which teaches that mercy descends over a loving couple: The Prophet ﷺ said “When a husband and wife look at each other with love, Allah looks at both with Mercy” (recorded in Imam Suyuti’s al-Jami al-Saghir) (Sources listed under references)

The angels on earth from Allah ﷻ invoke His mercy and forgiveness on the believers. When a married couple express love to each other the mercy of Allah ﷻ descends on them. If anyone of them is unjust towards each other then the angels do not invoke for mercy but rebuke such persons. A wife failing to fulfill the husband’s right over her is rebuked by the angels which causes a withdrawal of Allah’s mercy from her. However this mercy remains withdrawn as the above hadith stated “..till the morning.” It is is not a curse that would affect her for life as such, please note. But if the wife regrets her denial to the husband and goes back to him during the same night then the angels invoke mercy of Allah ﷻ on them both till morning.

References:
​
Sayings and Teachings of Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه و سلم)
Love, Good Character, and Mercy Between Spouses - SeekersHub Answers
Sayings and Teachings of Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه و سلم)

---